It’s a tough position to be in and its hard to think that there can be something we can do to help ourselves when we are in the thralls of being cyber-bullied. All we can see is the bully and their friends and the focus on them is anger, as they are the people that are causing us to be angry, fearful, lonely, sad, unconfident and lots more negative emotions. That is why this list of Top 10 Tips may come in useful if you are in this position.
1. Ask the Bully to stop
Sometimes, the bully is unaware that they have been causing this displeasure to us and maybe when highlighted they may stop. On the other hand, if the reaction is one of danger, do not push the matter too much on your own.
2. Speak to an adult
Speaking up is very hard, but a lot of progress can be made when other people are aware of the situation. More people that can deal with the situation, the less of the burden you are carrying on your own. Most of all, more wisdom to come up with ideas on how to stop the bullying.
3. Maybe telling an adult is too hard, then speak to a friend
Speak to a close friend and explain how upset you are with the bullying. Ask them for help on the matter and if they say to you that they must tell their parents, please agree to let them speak up on your behalf. As in Step 2, speaking about it helps to know you are not alone anymore.
4. Talk to the school principal or teacher.
Even though the bullying may only occur online, it often spills on to the playground at school. Either the bullies themselves are there to continually taunt you or others maybe speaking about you behind your back, which may cause them to avoid you also. Getting the school on board as soon as possible is important to stop the abuse there quickly. This has helped numerous victims get past some of these doom days.
5. Do not react to the bully
When the bully is posting images, comments, videos or other material online to get at you or make fun at you, please do not react to them. This is what the bully loves and by not giving the bully what they want, can often times, stop them abusing you. Take photos of the postings online to keep as evidence and show an adult.
6. Block the bully
There are options on most social media websites that allows you to de-friend the bully. Whether it’s blocking them on Facebook or Twitter, removing them from your BBM contacts list or other chat messengers, this is an important step. The less you see of their interactions the less constant reminders you have of them.
7. Report the victim to the website owners
When the abuse is getting is taking place online, there are numerous options how to report the bully to the website owner. On Facebook, they maintain that they react to a report case within 24 hours when it is someone under 18 years of age. Ask.FM have announced that they are to follow suit and work as hard as Facebook. Twitter, allows the user to block and report the Twitter user. Often, this can lead to the shutdown of the bullies’ accounts and if incriminating, the law enforcement will be informed.
8. Deactivate your accounts
You can deactivate some social media websites which means that your friends think you are gone off Facebook for example so they can no longer bother you. The beauty is, you can turn off the deactivation anytime and still have all your photos, comments and data still. Deleting the account is a no-turn back option. Make sure you think hard before carrying out this option.
9. Do not participate in other bullying scenarios
We may think that because we are not the victim, it’s ok to stand by and watch another person become a victim to someone. This is not ok either, bystanders that do nothing are as much to blame as the actual bully. Speak up for the victim and if you can, make sure all your friends are doing the same as you and not partaking in this scenario.
10. Begin self-defense or confidence building classes
When you are in the role of the victim, you think that you have lots of negative attributes, such as you are useless, ugly, stupid or worse. These are not true, the role of the bully is to make us feel inadequate. We are a better person with excellent qualities and no one, can tell us different. Research suggests that 85% of bullies online, have been victims to bullying offline themselves. But getting our self-esteem and confidence back is very important. When the bully sees how confident you are getting, they think they have failed and most likely discontinue the bullying.
Good list. But, sometimes, adults- school admins and teachers- fail to help the students. They either don’t know what to do, or they think that cyberbullying is not the school’s problem. Blocking and reporting are pretty much the only way to get prevent cyberbullying. However, they might still run into their bullies in the school grounds- which is another matter altogether.
Thanks Roxy for your feedback. Yes the school is the breeding ground and we need to be more careful what and where our children congregate online and offline. We cannot be with them 24/7 but we can try do cover as many angles as possible